I Got My Rock Moves
by Band8PGeek
Summary: Two universes. Two guys. One motive. One love. Any questions? Homestar Runner/SpongeBob SquarePants crossover, 50 sentence drabbles. The crackest of crack-and-slash pairings.


_**I Got My Rock Moves  
**Two universes. Two guys. One motive. One love. Any questions? Homestar/SpongeBob crossover, 50 sentence drabbles. The crackest of crack pairings._

Originally created for LiveJournal's 50sentence community. Actually, this has also been posted over there, so technically I'm cheating, but hey, free crack is good crack, right?

Disclaimer: Don't own SpongeBob or Homestar. Actually, to be honest I don't own anyone. And that's probably a good thing.

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**#01: Comfort  
**How they'd found each other they weren't too sure, especially since they came from two completely different universes; still, at least they were in the same place now, in that they could find some comfort.

**#02: Kiss  
**Despite enabling his aquatic sex partner to breathe in an air-filled world, a glass water helmet did have its limitations, leastwise preventing most of the kisses that Strong Bad desperately craved.

**#03: Soft  
**The whole romance thing just plain baffled everybody – since the crap when did Free Country USA's resident bad guy have a softer side?

**#04: Pain  
**The two of them were used to pain, what with the amount they'd put up with prior to each other – great for tolerance, not so good for their sadomasochist sides.

**#05: Potatoes  
**When Squilliam's introduction to the weekly a-peeling of potatoes acquired a sexual tinge, The Cheat knew it was time to scarper.

**#06: Rain  
**Squilliam liked the rain and its soothing wet textures; it meant that A) he could actually breathe without a goldfish bowl lodged on his head and B) the two of them could finally make out at the back of Bubs' Concession Stand.

**#07: Chocolate  
**To be honest, neither of them could see what all the fuss was about chocolate, seeing as the tastiest snack they'd ever eaten was each other.

**#08: Happiness  
**"Um, Strong Bad, remind me to redefine your definition of 'an awesome good time' later," muttered Squilliam, staring vacantly at the ages-old pinball machine.

**#09: Telephone  
**It is perhaps ironic that when Coach Z talked nasty to Strong Bad it was sexual harassment, whereas when Squilliam talked the same nasty to the same wrestleman it was $3.99 a minute.

**#10: Ears  
**It wasn't that one didn't like the other's taste in music; it's just that several hours of listening to nothing but Limozeen can only test a guy's patience so much.

**#11: Name  
**A rose by any other name would smell as sweet…unless they were grown by Strong Bad and claimed to "pack quite a punch", as Squilliam found out the hard way.

**#12: Sensual  
**Strong-Bad-style-sensual was using a feather; Squilliam-style-sensual was using the whole chicken.

**#13: Death  
**The rules were simple in the relationship: you touch the Turbografx games, you die.

**#14: Sex  
**"Dammit, Squilliam, I've told you this a thousand times: I will not have sex with you just for the hell of it," he lied.

**#15: Touch  
**Squilliam was about double his boyfriend's size, but that didn't stop him from stooping down and trying to subtly cop a feel when he thought he wasn't looking.

**#16: Weakness  
**Strong Bad prided himself on having no weaknesses to speak of…except perhaps his boyfriend.

**#17: Tears  
**Despite everything, both of them **still **maintained the philosophy that it wasn't OK to cry in front of each other.

**#18: Speed  
**Naturally raised on instant service and ADHD-riddled media, it took a while for Squilliam to get used to the fact that he actually needed to _slow down _in foreplay in order to get the best effect.

**#19: Wind  
**The cephalopod, quite frankly, didn't understand the need for the cliché as part of his cameo in the new Dangeresque movie, especially since he didn't even wear a skirt for the wind to lift.

**#20: Freedom  
**The astounding freedom of choice of places in which to have sex extended far beyond the classic "your place or mine"; in fact, it was more like "your place, mine, Homestar's, Bubs's, Strong Badia, The Field, or just right here right now".

**#21: Life  
**Squilliam did miss his previous life in Bikini Bottom sometimes (after all, that was the place he grew up); then he was treated to another wise-crack or Teen Girl Squad comic from his boyfriend and the nostalgia disappeared for another day.

**#22: Jealousy  
**Every time he caught the two of them together, even if they were just whiling away the hours, another little piece of Homestar's heart broke.

**#23: Hands  
**"Hey Stro Bro, how **do **you give a handjob with boxing gloves on anyway?"

**#24: Taste  
**The tako claimed the wrestleman's mouth tasted of p-nades and cold ones, which was pretty standard fare; the confusion came in the wrestleman claiming the tako's mouth tasted not of calamari as would be expected, but of a taste he could only call Zombie Pikachu.

**#25: Devotion  
**"NO no no no no – suddenly really creepy boyfriend OUT of my wrestling mask!!"

**#26: Forever  
**Everyone else just wished that one of them would propose life-long commitment right now and get it over with.

**#27: Blood  
**It was thankful that Squilliam managed to point out in time that if they became 'blood brothers', technically it would be incest.

**#28: Sickness  
**"Could someone find me a bucket so that I can get rid of all this mushy romantic nausea?" groaned Strong Bad, boxing gloves wrapped protectively around his stomach.

**#29: Melody  
**How did the muscleman manage to pack that many wrong notes into a 15-second romantic serenade anyway?

**#30: Star  
**At least Strong Bad had enough experience in suffering the taking of Homestar's titular shape to warn Squilliam away from making the same mistake.

**#31: Home  
**He came from the SpongeBob universe, but it was only when in Free Country USA lying in Strong Bad's bed that Squilliam truly felt he was home.

**#32: Confusion  
**"Look, I really don't wanna talk about that night, now can we drop the subject please?"

**#33: Fear  
**Contrary to popular belief, the gruff wrestleman could get scared sometimes, especially when the safety and wellbeing of his boyfriend was brought into it…in a sentimental way, he feared the thought of losing him.

**#34: Lightning/Thunder  
**They both had a thunder-like temper when angered; it was what they loved the most about each other.

**#35: Bonds  
**It takes a special person to create a bond with someone as self-focused as Strong Bad; it takes a miracle for him to willingly create a bond back – in this respect, his boyfriend was the luckiest of all of them.

**#36: Market  
**"No, you will NOT sell two of my tentacles on the black market."

**#37: Technology  
**Squilliam learned that day that calling one of Strong Bad's latest technological investments "out of date" could very well be the last thing you ever do.

**#38: Gift  
**Just because they were obviously going out didn't mean that either of them could get away with giving each other a crummy homemade ornament 'because they felt like it'.

**#39: Smile  
**Despite his sour reputation, Strong Bad smiles a lot more than you think he does, especially when thinking of all the awesome things he'll be doing to his lover that night.

**#40: Innocence  
**"Do you think we should tell Marzipan that we're not making that kind of music?"

**#41: Completion  
**"Not now, DeterminedX2," bandazgeek scolded her AIM buddy, "I have to get these Squilliam/Strong Bad 1sentence drabbles completed by 9 o'clock…oh hell, never mind."

**#42: Clouds  
**Lying back, staring at the clouds, trying to guess whether one was a pig or a duck…call it out of character if you like, but they wouldn't have it any other way.

**#43: Sky  
**The sky turned dark, the heavens opened and another rare opportunity for hot kisses arose.

**#44: Heaven  
**Strong Bad liked to think that he wasn't exaggerating when he said that his boyfriend far surpassed any episode of the Limozeen cartoon show.

**#45: Hell  
**"OK, fine, you're right, Strong Bad, Hell **is** Massachusetts, now please get me out of these Post-it notes."

**#46: Sun  
**Then again, as you all know, sometimes it _isn't_ a good idea to steal your boyfriend's sunscreen and replace it with batter oil.

**#47: Moon  
**Squilliam had somewhat of a fixation on the way his lover's eyes shone in the moonlight; said lover dubbed it as either mere interest or lycanthropy (the latter of which he seriously doubted…didn't he?)

**#48: Waves  
**Call them picky if you like, but somehow recreating the kissing scene of 'From Here To Eternity' in the relatively tiny waves of the swimming pool just wasn't the same…

**#49: Hair  
**What was weird about it is that neither of them had any hair to speak of; unless you count the unibrow, which was purely to drive Stro Bro's libido nuts anyway.

**#50: Supernova  
**All in all, it was a "prooty hot" relationship, if you take "prooty hot" to mean "obvious chemistry and love with the intensity of a star exploding", amongst other things.


End file.
